JS - Replacement Jaws
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I wrote this song when I was 16, recorded it in an abandoned middle school studio with some friends almost two year ago, haven’t posted it anywhere, just putting it up here so someone will hear it. 

Me: Diane, you’re just so different from all the other girls at Peterson Middle School. You actually get me, you are really funny, and just way more fun to hang out with. All the other guys say that all you do is eat garbage, but they need to realize that love isn’t about weight or body image. They’re immature Diane, they will realize after it is too late and you’re already my girl how wrong they were. 


Mom: You should dress up as something cool this year for Halloween. Stop dressing as obscure 90’s alternative rockers. 




I missed seeing Alex g to get drunk and play sonic adventure dx :(

Am I too old to “get” punk music?

Dear Twin Peaks: I have watched 10+ hours of your show and they still have not caught Laura Palmer’s killer. Have you even seen CSI: Miami? The detectives find the killer in less than an hour. 

Sincerely, Unimpressed

This is probably going to ruffle some feathers, but my woman crush Wednesday is actually corporate America. Yeah kind of snuck up on me, really wasn’t expecting to be sending so much love to corporate America but you grow up and you’re in your twenties like me and Bam! You wake up and realize how beautiful and caring corporate America is to you.


I polished this turd and put it on bandcamp. 

Dead of winter, 
I am in high school,
Waiting at the bus stop,
The cold is in my bones,
Michigan winter,
The outdoors are a cemetery,
I am so fucking indie,
Listening to ‘In the Flowers,’
Only person in my city that knows about Animal Collective,
I am alone,
Music is a completely isolating experience,
I don’t feel cool,
I get on the bus,
The girl in front of me smells like pizza,
Not like fresh pizza,
Like moldy seafood vomit pizza,
I begin to gag,
Tears well up in my eyes, 
I never listen to music again, 
I drop out of school,
I live in the gutters. 

I love your brain

My brain is like the 6th grade jello cell you make with the red jello as the cytoplasm and a little grape as mitochondria and whipped cream as the ribosomes and your teacher finally gives you permission to eat it with a spoon and you lose your shit and dig in, jello is seriously garbage compared to a pudding or vanilla ice cream but damn it’s like science made you turned on to jello like sexual desire type attraction to that shit

For all the babysitters in the world this ones for you…

The crappy part about existing is getting bitched out by your Christian friend’s mom about not saying bless you at dinner time and she calls your mom to pick you up because you showed her son the episode of Spongebob with the Flying Dutchman and it is anti Christian to show ghosts so you’re not allowed in their house that night as if you jerked off to strange porn in their bathroom and used a baby blanket to clean your bum,